What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse includes any attempt by one person in an intimate or family relationship to dominate and control the other. The abusive person will use fear, guilt, shame, intimidation and/or violence to control and dominate the other, causing fear, physical harm and/or psychological harm. Domestic abuse is a violation of human rights and is never acceptable. But once abusive behaviour is recognised, help is available and it can be stopped.

Psychological or Verbal abuse
Financial
abuse
Technological
abuse
Spiritual or
Cultural abuse
Sexual
abuse
Physical
abuse

DOMESTIC ABUSE OFTEN OCCURS IN A CYCLE

Visiting this site is an important first step in getting the support and information you need to break the cycle of domestic abuse.

 

Cycle of Abuse 1. Tension Builds Tensions increase, breakdown of communication, person experiencing abuse becomes fearful and feels the need to appease the abuser. 2. Incident Verbal, emotional and physical abuse. Anger, blaming, arguing, threats and intimidation. 3. Reconciliation Abuser apologises, gives excuses, blames the person being abused, denies the abuse occurred, or says that is wasn't as bad as claimed. 4. Calm Incident is forgotten, no abuse is taking place. The honeymoon phase.

 

HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED DOMESTIC ABUSE?

You are not alone and the abuse is not your fault. Abusive partners often isolate their victim from family and friends. As a result, you may feel ashamed and alone, believing that no one will believe you or understand. But there is confidential support available to you, and there is a way out to break the cycle of domestic abuse.

 

From being followed or tracked by your partner without giving consent, to being subjected to acts of physical violence, here are some examples of abusive behaviours that will help you determine whether you are in an abusive relationship.

Emotional, Verbal or Psychological abuse

Name-calling, put-downs, humiliation, jealousy, mind games, making you feel crazy (gaslighting), making you feel bad about yourself, and making you feel as though you are to blame are forms of domestic abuse.

Financial
abuse

Being forcefully deprived of your financial independence to keep you from leaving, not being allowed to work, having your pay taken against your wishes, not allowing you to establish your own credit, and withholding financial information from you are forms of domestic abuse.

Technological
abuse

Harassing, threatening, monitoring or impersonating another person continually using technology is a form of domestic abuse.

Spiritual or Cultural
abuse

Being denied the right to practice your religion or pursue religious, spiritual or cultural activities, belittling your religious beliefs, or stating that certain forms of abuse are justified as a cultural tradition or as acts supported by religious beliefs are forms of domestic abuse.

Sexual abuse

Sexual
abuse

Any unwanted touching or kissing, forcing or demanding sex, forcing unprotected sex, coercion and manipulation of sex are forms of domestic abuse.

Physical
abuse

Being shoved, hit, kicked, slapped, punched, pinched, grabbed, hair-pulled, bitten, strangled, or intimidated by your partner with threats of physical violence such as throwing objects, or punching walls are forms of domestic abuse.

Just because you’re in an abusive relationship now, doesn’t mean you always will be. There is confidential support available to you, and there is a way out to break the cycle of domestic abuse. Find out more about services and support to help you break the cycle.

 

 


 

1800 800 098 is a national 24-hour online and telephone service offering counselling and support to anyone experiencing domestic and family violence and/or sexual assault.

 


ARE YOU SEEKING HELP FOR YOUR ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR?

If you recognise that any of your actions are making your partner feel unsafe, it’s important to take responsibility for that behaviour and get the help you need to change. The good news is, change is possible once you accept that you are accountable for your behaviour. It starts with taking an honest look at how you are treating your partner. Listen when they tell you they feel disrespected or abused. And if you find yourself losing control or getting angry, walk away, giving you and your partner room to calm things down. Most importantly, understand that this is your problem, not your partner’s, and that just saying sorry won’t solve the problem.

 

From tracking your partner’s movements without their consent, to committing acts of violence, here are some examples of abusive behaviours that will help you determine whether you are behaving in an abusive way.

Emotional, Verbal or Psychological abuse

Name-calling, put-downs, humiliation, jealousy, mind games, making someone feel crazy, making someone feel bad about her/himself, and making someone feel as though they are to blame are forms of domestic abuse.

Financial
abuse

Using money as a way to control your partner or keep them from leaving, such as not letting them work, taking their paycheck, not allowing them to control their own income, not allowing them to establish their own credit, and withholding financial information from them are forms of domestic abuse.

Technological
abuse

Harassing, threatening, monitoring or impersonating another person continually using technology is a form of domestic abuse.

Spiritual or Cultural
abuse

Denying your partner the right to practice their religion or pursue religious, spiritual or cultural activities, belittling the victim’s religious beliefs, or stating that certain forms of abuse are justified as a cultural tradition or as acts supported by religious beliefs are forms of domestic abuse.

Sexual abuse

Sexual
abuse

Any unwanted touching or kissing, forcing or demanding sex, forcing unprotected sex, coercion and manipulation of sex are forms of domestic abuse.

Physical
abuse

Shoving, hitting, kicking, slapping, punching, pinching, grabbing, hair pulling, biting, strangling, or intimidating your partner with threats of physical violence such as throwing objects, or punching walls are forms of domestic abuse.

Just because you’re in an abusive relationship now, doesn’t mean you always will be. There is confidential support available to you, and there is a way out to break the cycle of domestic abuse.Find out more about services and support to help you break the cycle.

 

 


 

1300 766 491 is a national 24-hour online and telephone service offering counselling and support to anyone experiencing domestic and family violence and/or sexual assault.

 


WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE HAS BEEN OR IS BEING ABUSED?

Most often, we think of domestic abuse as something that happens out of sight, behind closed doors. But it can happen anywhere – at pubs, cafes, carparks, the beach, out in the street. And as caring members of society, if we see an abusive situation unfolding we should step in and offer assistance when and if it’s safe to do so.

 

Taking action could mean:

 

Showing solidarity with a person being abused or experiencing harassment can make a lasting difference to their life. Find out more about services and support to help break the cycle.